Elderly music snobs and teenagers desperately seeking an escape from Dubstep will be appalled to learn Techno-Titan Richard James, world famous as Cornwall’s Aphex Twin, played IBIZA this September.
The paradise isle, which resisted the Romans, fought off pirates under the Catalans but finally succumbed to Pete Tong is of course now the regular breeding ground of several Northern suburbs.
Come the Summer, the young of these primitive societies migrate en masse in a stunning display of ill-fitting lycra and inflammable sportswear to find a mate.
On arrival, the females will copulate with as many males as possible, to ensure impregnation, before returning by Budget Airline to raise their young alone.
The result is that between June and September, this remote island bears witness to one of the great natural wonders of the world: the ‘Ibiza Rave Party’..’
Anyway you get the idea. Probably fantastic if you’re a fifteen year old street urchin more used to swapping saliva at the bus stop, but surely somewhat trying if you’re a semi-retired musical genius now best known for his Philip Glass collaborations.
So what – exactly – is our Richard – his stage name the very byword for musical erudition and generally being shy and clever – doing there, especially with that terrible tinnitus he got from years banging out Didgeridoo at illegal 80s Barn Dances.
No clues from pal and fellow DJ Grant Wilson Claridge, who broke the news to fans on Facebook on the eve of his Ibiza experience.
‘On stage at 3.30am’ old Grant let us all know as we sheltered from Atlantic sleet in oil-heated huts on the cliffs of Penwith and for those less fortunate amongst us, Bertie’s Bar: ‘DJ Rephlex – after the Aphex Twin,’ the promoter and musico went on.
Well I don’t know what reaction he was expecting but it wasn’t euphoric. Or even balearic, for that matter. ‘Thought Ibiza was for wankers’ one facebook ‘friend’ moaned. ‘Have a nice time: I’m freezing’ complained another.
Music fans: I don’t know. They’re just nice to Jedward.
Anyway here at Bizzle we can exclusively tell you: The Aphex Twin performed at ibiza’s on September 26th as part of the ‘We Love Space’ series – rumours on the web are a new album may be pending – and that Richards even kissed and made up with Warp for the new release..
Mind you – rumours on the web are ALWAYS that a new album may be pending…as for making up with Warp – mail in and tell us at firstname.lastname@example.org: we don’t know. We’re proud to be industry f**wits. Too busy.